I'm thinking magnets, but I'm hoping magic powers.
Nice to meet you, Loser. They call me Misfire. Long story. Actually, you know what? It isn't. It's a very short story involving a machine gun, a misunderstanding and a dozen dead Decepticons.
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amadafakin-fortress-deactivated asked: Don't know how tears properly work but, mech. haven't you tried using a tear to escape from that forsaken planet?


Answer:

I don’t want to mess with them! Tears have dropped off my friends in dangerous places and like hell I’m gonna let them get a hold of me! Nuh-uh, not Misfire.

Days Two through Four.

He’d spent the better part of the last few days hollowing out passages underground. He hadn’t done a very good job, a couple had collapsed on him, burying him im rubble and, oh, wasn’t that refreshing,picking weird debris out of freaking seams. Every time he moved he could hear the crunch-crunching of gravel cracking in his seams.

But the tunnels, no matter how unstable they were, did the trick. He’d slathered the walls with enough circuit speeder paste—which was hard as frag to make, too, all that cooking up, making him feel ten times shadier than he already was—to blow all of Clemency sky high in a matter of kliks.

He was still going to die, sure, but at least he’d do it on his own terms.

Survival tip number 39, when digging a tunnel, make sure it’s only big enough for you.

Anonymous asked: I know how you can get magical powers.


Answer:

Ooh, how’s that?

Holy fucking Primus, Fulcrum!

Please tell me you’re on Clemency.

justmisfire:

space-gangster:

megastarpuncher:

…wow, you’re really good at that. 

You bet I am! I’m fast and I have perfect aim. You say you’re not a bad gunslinger yourself? So you’re… not like your counterpart then?

We should have a showdown at high noon.

I’m probably worse than my counterpart, actually. Uhh…

(Source: breakingatrail)

Anonymous asked: Bippity boppity boo, mother fucker.


Answer:

space-gangster:

megastarpuncher:

No! I don’t have those powers but I do have the power to magically empty a gun really, really quickly. 

Great, so do I! 

Into the bodies of my enemies, of course. Hahaha!

…wow, you’re really good at that. 

(Source: breakingatrail)

breakingatrail:

megastarpuncher:

breakingatrail:

… do you need a pick-up?

I think I’m wanted by the DJD. Or at least that’s what it sounds like. And they’ve got my friend. And I’m not usually like this but I think it would mean more trouble for you and your friends if you picked up. 

‘Cause then I’m RUNNING FROM THE DJD AND THAT REALLY PISSES THEM OFF.

Besides, I’m a scavenger, not a refugee. 

Alright, have it your way.  We do have the Wreckers here, you know.

Every Autobot I’ve talked to keeps bringing them up. Like, oh Wreckers this and Wreckers that, and oh they’ve got their own book deal, they’re really cool! And they sound cool and everything but I’m not a lost cause, I can do this. 

breakingatrail:

megastarpuncher:

breakingatrail:

megastarpuncher:

Well that’s okay, if some zombie eats me alive, I’ll be okay. For the most part, anyway. 

… zombies?  There’s no such thing.

Maybe not but there’s…stuff out here. I’m pretty sure. I’m pretty sure there are giant, horrible things out here. Big scary things with smelting pools for mouths. 

… do you need a pick-up?

I think I’m wanted by the DJD. Or at least that’s what it sounds like. And they’ve got my friend. And I’m not usually like this but I think it would mean more trouble for you and your friends if you picked up. 

'Cause then I'm RUNNING FROM THE DJD AND THAT REALLY PISSES THEM OFF.

Besides, I’m a scavenger, not a refugee.